Vampires, Werewolves, and us, OH MY!
by kitty00kat
Summary: wut happens when u mix vampires,werewolves,and us? a whole lot of funny crap! R&R, we will make more if u do! :P
1. Banana PHONE!

**MISHAPS AMONG FANFIC'S**

**VAMPIREHAMMY00 WROTE THIS 2!!!!**

**Ch.1**

Kat-Okay, so let's get this story started.

Hammy-yeah! Ok, so…any ideas?

doorbell rings 

Kat-I'll get it.

hammy thinks about ideas

Kat-(SCREAM!!!!!)

Hammy-wut???

hammy runs to door and screams  
Kat and Hammy-omigod!!! Its Edward!!!!!!

Edward-Hi ladies my car broke down. Can I use your fone?

Kat-Wut fone?

Throws fone out window 

Edward-Umm…how bout the one u just threw out your window?

Hammy-um…..that was a…banana??  
Edward- alright, can I use your banana?  
Kat-Do you really want all that potassium?

Edward-I need to call Bella.

Kat-O

pulls out umbrella and knocks Edward out 

Hammy-That was unnessecary

Kat-BUT HES HOTT!!!!!!!!

Hammy-fine, well, put him in the closet!

Kat-great idea!

grunt as they struggle to put Edward in closet 

Kat-Hes heavy!

Hammy-now what do we do?

A/N-

Kat-PLZ REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel luvved when peeple do!!!!! MOst of this is not plausible, but its funny! BTw-This is my ff name.

Hammy-IF we get enuff reviews we will put in a second chapter...we mite just for fun anywhoo...soo,,,,if u hav any crzy ideas,,,those r welcome too...btw, my FF name is vampirehammy00 ...u mite b c-ing emmett getting wasted...idk,,,we need good, crzy ideas! thnx!!


	2. The Wolf In THe Trash Can

CHAPTER 2

Kat and Hammy went for a walk

Kat-LOOK AT THE ADORABLE PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hammy-umm…Kat? That's not a puppy…….

It's a wolf!!!! Aaaah!!!

Kat-Silly Hammy, it's a puppy! See?

Kat reaches out to pat the "puppy" and puppy snarls nearly biting her hand off

Kat-AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hammy-you should be ashamed of yourself, you, you….well, what are you???  
Wolf changes into……………JACOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But he's naked…

Kat-MY EYES! THEY BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But he is pretty hott…

Jacob get into trashcan

Hammy-Ya know, Dude, you could've asked for some sweatpants somewhere!! O well, need food?

Jacob-FOOD??????????????? Ok. But I'll need pants

Kat- You can have mine!

Hammy-NO! Kat, leave your pants on. I'll run back to the house and get some.

Hammy runs to house and opens closet

Edward-w-w-where am I?

Hammy-heaven, now shut up.  
knocks out Edward with trophy

gets sweatpants and runs back to kat  
Jacob-Thanks.

Jacob pulls on pants

Kat-LETS GO TO McDonalds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hammy-ummm…ok?

Jacob-Oh, BTW, Bella asked me to look for Edward.

Kat- Edward? Wut Edward?

Hammy-Yeah, WE don't know an Edward!

A/N-

Kat-So yeah, we continued our story, HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! R&R plz!!!!!

Hammy-We think our next chapter will be about Emmett, but if you wanna find out, you'll hav to review!

Kat-Just wanted 2 say thx soooooo much 4 all the reviews. The downside 2 me my bff doing this is we can only do it when were either both online or eachothers house. So we hate 2 make u wait! Thx again 4 the reviews. U 2 BEKAH!!!


	3. Burgers Nails

Ch3

Kat, Hammy, and Jacob pulled up to the McDonalds Drive-Thru 

Kat-Omigod! Is that Emmet?

Emmet is in Drive-thru window 

Jacob-I'd like 30 Big Macs.

Emmet- Would You Like Fries w/that?

Kat and hammy- omigod!!! Its Emmett!

Emmett-how do u know me? Wait, never mind,,,,….wood u like fries with that??

Jacob-get outta here!!!! Lets go to burger king

drive away 

Kat-OW! I droke a nail driving! whimpers

drives up to nail salon

Jasper is at nail counter

Jasper-OMIGOD! Your nail, it like, broke! I need to, like, fix it. Like.

Jacob-wtf???? Leech? You do nails??  
Jasper-well, yeah, like,I LUV NAILS! Like.

Alice walks in emo clothes

Alice-life sucks

Jasper- omigod! Alice! Would you like a pedi?  
Alice-do you have black?

Jasper-umm….its not your color!

Kat-HELLLOOO!!!! I still need a mani!!!!

Alice-Jacob seems to be enjoying himself.

Jacob- to hott girl getting pedi so then I told him 'hey back off from my girl!'-

Hammy interrupts everyone-OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH!

grabs Kat and Jacob and drags them to car

Kat-NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I STILL NEED MY MANI!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N-

Kat- ITS SNOWING IN SC! IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!!!!!lol. R&R plz!

Hammy-wow. 1st snow in a year…..r and r!!!


	4. SAMWHICH! with cheez

Chapter 4

Kitty-Srry it took us so long 2 update. We had sooooo much fun writing this!!!!!

Hammy-enjoy! Muchas gracias.

Kat and Hammy drive Jacob back to house from mani-pedi salon.

Jacob-where are you taking me?  
Hammy-Back to our house.

Kat-Where Edw-

Hammy clamps hand over Kat''s mouth

Hammy-umm….where Edw…..ardo is!!! Yeah, hehe, edwardo.

Jacob-oh, ok.

Kat-Actually I was talking bout Edward stupid!

Hammy-KAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacob-All this time he was your HOUSE!?!?!?!?! Bella said I had to find him!

Hammy- Screw Bella! I love you now!!!

Jacob-ummm…creepy, but sexy.

Kat-kk, we're here!

walk into house  
Kat-omg! Edward!? You're aliv-I mean here? What a coinky-dink!

Edward-Where am I? I need to find bella!

Kat-ITS OKAY EDDIE-POO! IM HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacob and Hammy walk in

Jacob-Wat the heck's going on here?????

Hammy-it's okay Jakey-poo I'll get you a samwhich!

Jacob- With cheese??!!!

Hammy-AND mayo!

Jacob- Yay!

Kat-I hope u enyoyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! R&R!!!!

Hammy- lolz. I luv the samwhich part….kk, we'll update soon! Thnx!


	5. PetsMart

Chapter 5

Kat-We updated from last chapter really fast!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! New record.

Hammy-we came up with this idea when I was at Kat's house eating dinner. Hope you like!

Hammy, Kat, Jakey-poo, and Eddie-poo are at Kat and Hammy's house

Hammy-Jakey-poo, do you have fleas?

Jacob-WHAT!

Edward-Im proud to say I Don't.

Kat-sweetlyyes, but you are cold, undead and sparkly in the sun. LIKE A QUARTER!

Jacob-OH! A,B,C,B,C,DEBO!!!!!

Edward- Touche.

Hammy-YOU IGNORED MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacob-I don't know….you wanna check me?winks

Hammy-totally oblivious to sexual comment lets go get a flea collar!

Jacob looks disappointed

Kat-Okay! Eddie-poo and I will play uno!

Edward-I don't speak Spanish

Hammy- kk, let's go to Petsmart!

Jacob-I don't want to!

Hammy-You'll be with me. wink wink

Kat-Eddie-poo doesn't speak Spanish so we'll have to go with you.

Jacob-ARE YOU ALL TRYING TO TAKE AWAY MY SEX LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kat-Wut Sex life?

Jacob-pouts  
Edward- WE'RE GOING 2 PETSMART!!

Nothing happened in the car to PetsMart, all they did was listen to JoJo, Jacobs favorite

Hammyto employee- excuse me, do you have any flea collars?

Employee(who happens to be mike)-Sure, rite this way.

Kat-ooh! look at the fishies!

Edward-Better than dogs!

Jacob-hey, ur not nice!

Hammy-its ok, ill buy you a flea collar!

Mike-AAh! Cullen! and...big muscle guy! Y arent you with Bella?

Kat-HES MINE!!!!! BACK UP GAY GUY!!!!!!!growls

Mike-muttersImess around with one guy and...

Hammy- Ooh! I like this color! can we get this in a size...XXXXXXXXL?

Mike-Why?

Hammy- I need one for my werewolf boyfriend.

Mike-oh, yeah, of course, i shoulda thot of that...where is he?

Jacob-here.

Mike-ummmm..umm...eyes dart back and forthHere take it I NEVER EVEN LIKED BELLA!!!!!runs away

Hammy- wow. how accomadating.

Edward-ok, now that the dog is taken care of, what do we do?

Kat- back to McDonald's for Happy Meals!!!!!

Jacob-CAN I HAVE 30 CHICKEN NUGGETS?????

Kat-Wow. thts a pretty random chapter...

Hammy- well, hope u enjoyed, we luvd writing it! we r such geniemooses!(geniuses) Review! thnx


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